• If we suspend reaction (keeping an open, non-judgmental mind), we can perceive life directly
    by becoming aware of and 'letting go' of increasingly 'unpresent' patterns of 'thunk' thought
    (filters that distort our perception of 'now')
  • If we look for and sincerely acknowledge participation, we can enjoy relationship – by avoiding
    the disease of being unaware of the contributions, needs, and claims of either self or others
  • If we search inside for what we truly know to be so (our authenticity), we learn to 'let go of' the
    reductive (because only logical) categorizations by which we forget the symbolic character of
    words and lose connection with the vital warmth within our individual centres, at which point we
    once again feel our special coherence with a larger whole
  • If we learn to listen to our most honest beliefs (perhaps in meditation, or in articulating an
    IHXEN), we can become aware (and then conscious) of presuppositions (often presumptions to
    others), integrate our senses of rationality and reasonability, and feel comfortably engaged in a
    wider range of experiences
  • If we diligently seek, through curiosity, to ground our innermost beliefs in reliable data (including
    those of our own emoto-linguistic reflections), we are helping the world in which we participate
    unfold in vitally new and organically sustainable ways.
..
Empathic Dialogue the Authentix Way:
Conscious Approaches to Achieving Agreement
Empathicly Authentic Dialogue

True dialogue is a process by which we seek ‘containers’ capable of holding more and more of our
experience
”, says William Isaacs, a graduate of Dartmouth and the London School of
Economics, who also has a doctorate in philosophy from Oxford University, and whose
work in this field has earned respect from Ford, Motorola, and Shell – among many other
clients.  “
We can see this in the experience of a couple that continuously fights and has no ‘space’ to
understand the tensions they are feeling.  We can imagine the change they might feel if they could walk
into the arms of a very wise, understanding friend who could soothe and reassure them by letting them
know he (or she) sees the struggle each of them is going through.  He (or she) could offer the hope that
would motivate them to fight for both their own identity and each other

(from "
Dialogue & the Art of Thinking Together" by William Isaacs).
Disciplines for
Empathic Dialogue the
Authentix Way
..
We can use the principles of empathically authentic dialogue in the boardroom, the bedroom, the shop
floor, the construction site, the customer's office, the family vacation, the relative's visit, even in email
exchanges or blog or forum posts.  Doing so exercises a spirit of conversation in which ideas for an
opening toward satisfying agreements are woven together in an increasingly coherent tapestry of both
rational and reasonable conceptions and inquiries.  This, however, is merely a logical statement of the
theory of dialogue.  Putting the theory into practice involves gaining proficiency in 5 essential
disciplines, conditions for success in which may be summarized as follows:
..
In ordinary circumstances can we take the time to 'listen' for either our own or another's needs and to
find the words to express what will move us toward what we know will arrest alarm and raise hope in
some practical approach or action to meet them?  In uncertain, difficult, or challenging circumstances,
we feel anxious about expressing, or listening for, unmet needs.  Doubtful that the option of silence
will 'do', we rush to interpret what we hear as requiring either a vehement defence of ourselves, or
withdrawing, or offering hasty, and therefore unempathic, even presumptive, suggestions.

Is there a practical way to navigate such moments that we can all learn?  Communication is not
announcing or broadcasting but requires two people at least, and what takes place in between is often
a mystery about which we can either assume we know or else work to discover in a dialogue in which
all parties do their best to present their authentic selves empathically to the others.  If we can find a
simple way we can all understand and easily remember for doing this, then by practising it we would
be able to increase the chances of reaching agreements when we need more than one party to solve a
problem, i.e. converse fruitfully in the discovery of needs with which the parties can help each other
and/or others.

Authentix Coaches have found that utterance of an "I have 'X emotion' now" (IHXEN, pronounced
'
Eye-Zen') statement, where 'X emotion' is an honest selection of simply a noun or a noun phrase, is a
reliable way, in challenging moments, for anyone to navigate such moments safely.  The act of
articulating an honest IHXEN engages such capacities as we already have developed in easier
circumstances for the purposes of sustaining connection and surfacing/sharing ideas/experience.  For
more about
IHXENs, how they avoid conflict, how they facilitate more satisfying and/or productive
conversation, and how they produce outstanding returns on the investment required to become
proficient in their use, click on
this link, or one or another of the navigation buttons below.
..
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A coaching story
Overview of Eye-Zen English Psycholinguistics
Narrative of an IHXEN-facilitated Engagement
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Mr. Isaacs' book quotes Peter Garrett who, after working with quantum physicist and introducer of the
term 'implicate order' David Bohm and also with Don Factor, has practised the idea of 'true dialogue'
in maximum-security prisons where he found offenders will attend dialogue sessions while boycotting
everything else: “
The impulse behind intentions is pure, even though the intention may be distorted and the
impact not what was intended.  Inquiring deeply enough to reach the original impulse will always reveal
‘wholesomeness’.  This provides the confidence to enter the loudest confrontation and the darkest territory without
fear that it will get forever worse.

..
Thorough dialogue between participants in any situation in which they have interest
in both learning and practising its disciplines will lead to satisfying agreements.  
That's the implication of what Peter Garrett is telling us.  The impulses giving rise to
intents are life expressions, no matter what moods of destructive cynicism or
repelling anxiety may be contaminating their manifestation or interpretation.  The
task of an "
Authentix Dialoguer" is therefore to practise skills that facilitate
expression and evocation of empathic authenticity and the best available degree of
reciprocity.  Consider the following success rate comparisons:
Sources: Data – Conference Board of Canada as quoted in Globe & Mail of 070505 and Canadian Business & the
Law, by DuPlessis et al. published 2005 by Nelson div. of Thomson Publishing; Analysis -
Authentix Coaches
the author, Angus Cunningham
(in Kolapore Wilderness, Ontario)
New! 5-page 'Publisher's Preview' available below
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Foreword + theme charts) for "
Dialogue: Enjoy (& keep!) your relationships AND Grow your
problem-solving capacity
", the book for which the author of this page is now in the process of attracting
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