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| Empathic Dialogue the Authentix Way: Conscious Approaches to Achieving Agreement |
| Empathicly Authentic Dialogue “True dialogue is a process by which we seek ‘containers’ capable of holding more and more of our experience”, says William Isaacs, a graduate of Dartmouth and the London School of Economics, who also has a doctorate in philosophy from Oxford University, and whose work in this field has earned respect from Ford, Motorola, and Shell – among many other clients. “We can see this in the experience of a couple that continuously fights and has no ‘space’ to understand the tensions they are feeling. We can imagine the change they might feel if they could walk into the arms of a very wise, understanding friend who could soothe and reassure them by letting them know he (or she) sees the struggle each of them is going through. He (or she) could offer the hope that would motivate them to fight for both their own identity and each other” (from Isaacs' book "Dialogue & the Art of Thinking Together"). |
| Disciplines for Empathic Dialogue the Authentix Way |
| Thorough dialogue works to achieve productive agreements between any participants having interest in both learning and practising its disciplines -- in whatever forum or life situation one encounters. The impulses giving rise to intentions are life expressions, no matter what moods of destructive cynicism or anxiety may be contaminating their manifestation or interpretation. The task of an "Authentix Dialoguer" is to practise disciplines that help express and evoke authenticity and reciprocity. Consider the following success rate comparisons: |
| .. We can use the principles of empathically authentic dialogue in the boardroom, the bedroom, the shop floor, the construction site, the customer's office, the family vacation, the relative's visit, even in email exchanges or blog or forum posts. Doing so exercises a spirit of conversation in which ideas for an opening toward what Churchill famously called "broad, sunlit uplands" are woven together in a coherent tapestry of both rational and reasonable conceptions and inquiries. This, however, is merely a logical statement of the theory of dialogue. Putting the theory into practice involves gaining proficiency in 5 essential disciplines, conditions for success in which may be summarized as follows: .. |
| In ordinary circumstances we can take the time to 'listen' for either our own or another's needs and to find the words to express what will move us toward what we know will raise hope and supply practical direction, or means, for meeting them. But in uncertain, difficult, or challenging circumstances, we feel anxious about expressing, or listening for, unmet needs. Doubtful that the option of silence will 'do', we rush to interpret what we hear as requiring either a vehement defence of ourselves or our provision of hasty, and therefore unempathic, even presumptive, suggestions. Is there a practical way to navigate these dangerous seas that we can all learn? Communication in a relationship is made by two people at least, not one, and what takes place in the middle is an ethereal mystery about which we can inquire in a dialogue in which both parties do their best to present their empathic, authentic selves to the conversation. If we can find a simple way that we can all understand and easily remember for doing this, then by practising it we would be able to increase the chances of reaching agreements when we need more than one party to solve a problem, i.e. converse fruitfully in the discovery of needs with which the parties can help each other and others. Authentix Coaches have found that utterance of an authentic "I have 'X emotion' now" (IHXEN, pronounced 'Eye-Zen') statement, where 'X emotion' is limited to a noun or noun phrase, is a reliable way, in crucial moments, for anyone to engage such capacities as he or she already has developed in 'easier' circumstances, for the purpose of creating more options for reaching sustainable agreement. For more about IHXENs, how they avoid conflict, how they facilitate more productive conversation, and how they produces outstanding returns on the investment required to become proficient in their use, click on this link or one or another of the navigation buttons below: .. |
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| Authentix Coaches |
| Mr. Isaacs' book quotes Peter Garrett, who has practised the idea of 'true dialogue' in maximum- security prisons where he found offenders will attend dialogue sessions while boycotting everything else: “The impulse behind intentions is pure, even though the intention may be distorted and the impact not what was intended. Inquiring deeply enough to reach the original impulse will always reveal ‘wholesomeness’. This provides the confidence to enter the loudest confrontation and the darkest territory without fear that it will get forever worse.” |
| Sources: Data – Conference Board of Canada as quoted in Globe & Mail of 070505 and Canadian Business & the Law, by DuPlessis et al. published 2005 by Nelson div. of Thomson Publishing; Analysis - Authentix Coaches |
| Angus (in Kolapore Wilderness, Ontario) |