The end of IAXAPs -- "I am 'X adjectival phrase' satements

Latest revision: 101130

IAXAPs are linguistics of the form "I am 'X adjectival phrase'". IAXAPs are the currently conventional form of
linguistic by which, in the English-speaking world, we habitually express "who we are". Examples of IAXAPs
are "I am a woman", "I am a doctor", "I am an engineer", "I am a father", "I am an 'NVCer'", "I am a Zionist", "I
am an Arab", and so forth. But we also use the "I am" term to say "I am angry", "I am confused", "I am
happy", "I am competent", "I am disabled", "I am mistaken", "I am a wealthy man", "I am totally upset", "I am
losing faith", "I am grateful", "I am anxious", "I am uncertain", etc. In short, the part of an IAXAP that is 'X
adjectival phrase' can be a wide variety of terms.

For example, I recently received an email from a friend of mine that contained the following IAXAPs: "I am
confused", "I am understanding this right", "I am leaving out", "I am sure" -- each of which were no doubt very
automatic self-expressions. This person operates a construction company and has invented and
manufactured and sold a practical device for implementing Einstein's refrigerator idea. He also has been
practising for some years the NVC linguistics from Marshall Rosenberg's book "Nonviolent Communication: A
Language of Life". He has, in short, accomplished a lot in his life and clearly has much, much more than
average interest in the quality of life we humans generally live.

IHXENs, in contrast to IAXAPs, are linguistics of the form "I have 'X emotion' now", where 'X emotion' is limited
to a noun or noun phrase honestly descriptive of one's state of being at a moment in time, e.g. 'anger', 'joy',
'diminishing grief', 'exuberant hope', 'decreasingly blissful ignorance', and so forth. IHXENs and IAXAPs are
compared further at this link.

IHXENs address an anomaly intrinsic in IAXAPs. The anomaly is that the word "am" has ambivalence
associated with it of which only a very few of us are constantly aware. The term "I am" might be being used
to signify simple existence, or sometimes only a particular kind of existence, or sometimes only an attribute of
existence; it might be being used to denote an essence; and it may also refer to one's identity; and
sometimes to one's self-image. It has all these meanings -- to name only the symbolizing that this term
conveys with which I have personal cognizance. These observations might sound either trivial or obscure to
one whose reflections on who he or she is are still maturing, but from the point of view of humanity's future,
what is crucial is that we all become aware that our unchanging, permanent essence while alive on this
planet is that of being human, hopefully one that is increasingly both rational and reasonable. Whether we
have a temporary existence or identity of that of an angry being, or of a confused person, or of a
construction company owner, or of an inventor, or of a coach, or of a writer, or of a happy person, or of
being unsure, or of being "at sea" is only of relevance temporarily in relation to a presumed role. And
whether one claims a particular competence or a particular disability at any particular moment is emotionally
only a temporary matter if one is also growing, which we all are until we die -- unless we either don't know or
refuse to accept fully both the ephemerality of our emotions and also our actual or potential abilities to
evolve/change our emotions and moods from the inside if we can't change their external triggers.

How do we express being human permanently and without ambivalence? We can do this by practising
IHXENs and avoiding IAXAPs -- for IAXAPs constrain one into regurgitating or uttering thunk thoughts solely
out of sheer habit. When we do catch ourselves recycling an IAXAP, whether only in mind or in utterance we
will find, in due course, that we can change it to an IHXEN, and this practice slowly begins to replace the
ambivalences (depending on one's point of view) associated with IAXAPs, and to replace the absence of
presence that IAXAPs maintain with the genuinely unique, growing, and fully present authenticity of which
each of us is capable in our moments of equanimity as a human being. In the interim, please don't worry
about using "IAXAPs" unless events are unfolding to your considerable distaste or dismay.

People who wish to augment their capacities for nonviolent communication through IHXEN exchange in
challenging circumstances will probably want to review this link, a link to material on the practice of NVC
linguistics augmented by the ideas in this and other IHXEN-related papers.

Why change a "normal" language habit?
IHXEN and IAXAP linguistics compared