The chart depicts the path a child has to find to become a rationally and emotionally mature citizen. Inspired by the stages of maturity described in Marshall Rosenberg's 2003 book "Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life", it shows two plateaus in the path to maturity at which we all need a helping hand from someone who has already passed through to the next stage. Many citizens do not get this help for one reason or another. But, however that may be for you, anyone who aspires eventually to exemplify the “Homo Rationalis” ideal of our species begins as a predominantly instinctive and completely dependent being and then must grow into opposing, then accepting, and finally adapting successfully to, four necessities of relationship with others: 1. No one can be fully independent because our universe is inter-connected in many subtle but unavoidable ways, and so, to complete one’s growth into a fully mature “Homo Rationalis”, one must eventually work out a series of viable inter-dependencies with others; 2. No one can feel true to self without discovering and expressing his/her own authentic essence (genius?); 3. No one can enjoy much affinity or love in relationship with others without discovering how to express and share his or her unique authenticity with empathy; and 4. Anyone who finds a reliably successful way through the obstacles and blockages that we all commonly encounter in our passages to emotional maturity will find that he or she has to include in his or her learning the means to become accurately aware of the quality of his or her emotions. To accept, and also adapt successfully to, these necessities can aptly be described as a Herculean feat – as any clinical psychologist, psychotherapist, organizational leader, or coach will affirm. So it is not surprising that virtually none of the voters in the elections of even the most stable and advanced Western democracies reaches the ideal of “Homo Rationalis” -- except for the short durations of a few intermittent periods in which we do make the effort to become consciously aware of our emotions, strengths and limitations. In some circumstances we can do this without difficulty. Yet very often we find ourselves only reacting presumptively. In these periods of our lives we may well be searching with increasing futility and frustration to escape the rigours of having to learn the skills of functional interdependence in the increasingly interconnected world in which we are all now living. Sometimes we do so in dangerously ludicrous ways. For example, following George W. Bush, a majority of Americans attempted, after a knee-jerk fit of rage, to extend the idea of Freedom Now! into societies in which that idea is dangerously alien. Similarly, a majority of Americans enlisted, in pursuit of the idea of Entitlement Now!, in the noble but currently unattainable concept of house ownership for all. The challenge of evoking more rationality and interdependence among the members of a society in which a majority are pursuing the priorities of Freedom Now! or Entitlement Now! is that your or my taking our responsibilities to others seriously is not an automatic assurance that others will also do so reciprocally. The question then arises: Can we do more than just hope that others will become more responsible too? Anyone who wants to do more than just hope might begin by asking these questions:
While answering these questions each in our own individual way, we each have to continue swimming, of course, or we each will drown. Yet is it not also necessary that we do something socially intelligent and contributory about the foul state of the pool in which a large number of people have, let’s admit it, been pissing – seemingly without conscience? If one’s ideology is to the “right”, conventional wisdom is that “purification of the pool by government chlorine usually turns out to burn our skins”. But, if so, can we honestly now expect further implementation of the ideology of free markets will make our pool enjoyable again? Well, I doubt you would be reading this far if you believed any more that the experiments with free markets that so many at the financial top of our societies have been advocating for at least a generation will ever be adequate to clean our pool. If one’s ideology is to the “left”, conventional wisdom is that “purification of government will lead to a gentler means of purifying the pool than chlorine”. Perhaps it will, but isn’t that simply hoping that the human nature of the select group who convince us their promises of the moon will be more palatable than what we have come to expect from those who advocate no change at all? There are some who say that the only way we can clean our swimming pool is by being clean ourselves. “We must be,” said Mohandas Gandhi, the Mahatma and political apostle of non-violent communication, “the change we want to see in the world”. In the swimming pool analogy, that philosophy amounts, I sense, to something like: “No. Contra-chlorination won't work because no one can get anyone else to change. We can only set a super-stoic example and trust that God will do the rest”. Well, yes. Except that maybe, just maybe, there’s a way that was unknown to the mahatma from Porbandar, one unavailable to him for some reason, to induce more responsibility by a means more powerful, and hopefully also less personally costly, than simply hoping that others will follow one’s example of starvation-diet and unmatchable stoicism. Eye-Zen English, an approach to integrating the principles of authenticity and empathy, is emerging as just such a way. You can get an overview of Eye-Zen English at the following link. (c) 2009-10 by Angus Cunningham Toronto, 090605-100621 |
| The Evolutionary Stages of Emotional Maturity (c) 2009-10 by Angus Cunningham Principal, Authentix Coaches |
| Latest Revision: 100621 |