|The root practice in the Eye-Zen English set of principles for problem-solving conversation is the
IHXEN I-statement, “I have ‘X emotion’ now”, in which we deliberately simplify our self-expression
by choosing a noun phrase, ‘X emotion’, that we believe honestly represents the key quality of
the energy then priming our mindbody/bodymind process. We do this in moments of challenge
because we want to avoid any fuller verbalization of what, in such a moment, is animating us,
because that might introduce either inaccuracy or disconnection to the problem-solving process.
By resorting to (taking refuge in, to use buddhist language) such an IHXEN statement, we:
We are all swimming in the particular psycho-cultural currents habits of the 21st Century world of
'normative' English. This means that the IHXEN root practice does not feel normal to us, which is
a discouraging reality for many. The 'normal' (i.e. predominant) way, currently in our culture, of
expressing an emotion is by means of the "I am 'X adjectival phrase" format, IAXAP (which, for
convenience can be pronounced 'Eye-Ax-Up'). Unfortunately, the IAXAP format has several
disadvantage when problem-solving is required: its usage programs our brains to connect
synapses involving 'I associations' involving the word 'am' -- with the consequence that IAXAPs
such as 'I am afraid' become our senses of identity until we find the equanimity to root our
identities more deeply in what ancient sages such as the Buddha (and also modern meditator-
neuroscientists such as Rick Hanson, author of "Buddha's Brain", believe to be our essences
rather than temporary "I am ..." identities. This habit (one of which trend-setters in English first
began to become free in the court of Henry V but from which in recent years the culture has
seriously regressed), impairs our brain's ability and efficiency to help us, over the course of an
episode of conversation to express what we truly know, rather than what we temporarily
believe. Thus it has serious negative consequences for our capacities to solve challenging
problems by means of contemporary conversational usages of English.
In the face of such potentials for disaster, the Chant engagement, among others, shows that by
exchanging revelations of the "I have 'X emotion' now" format, IHXENs, instead of presenting
IAXAP assertions to each other, we can improve our abilities to communicate accurately in the
tense moments of conversations related to 'must-solve' problems. Unfortunately, this gain in
problem-solving capacity -- one available in any subject field -- cannot come about without
participants in the conversation developing a much larger than normal vocabulary of emotion
nouns is only available to us if we are willing to try what initially feels abnormal, an IHXEN. But the
feeling of abnormality diminishes when we acquire a list of emotion nouns that practice of IHXENs
require. The following list is therefore offered to people interested in using 'Eye-Zen' English for
Using Emotion Nouns
in Eye-Zen English
|Visits to this URL: 515 Latest Update: 140116
|Problem Solving Conversation
Facilitated by 'Eye-Zen English':
Psycho-linguistic Search for Equanimity Yielded the
Accuracy to 'Make the Difference Needed'
(c) 2007-2014 by
Principal, Authentix Coaches
An investment in 'Eye-Zen English' proficiency by an Authentix Coaches' client
always has an excellent return for all participants. For example, an investment
of under $30,000, plus perhaps $50,000 to $80,000 in internal opportunity
costs, resulted in recovery for our client organization of an outstanding
receivable of $10,000,000 that had been threatening their survival for 3 years.
It also led to a spectacularly successful launch of an Employee Share Ownership
Program, which not only generated much good will between the
founder/owner, his employees, and their overdue client but also set the stage
for a cooperative future. In addition, their coach was able to validate Eye-Zen
English principles of problem-solving conversation as a pathway for spreading
economic equity in a carelessly materialistic larger world.
|The schematic/logo below illustrates the architecture of how Eye-Zen English principles for
problem-solving and needs-meeting conversation are a synthesis of prior psycho-linguistic disciplines.
Click on it for a brief overview of these principles:
|A. Gain the relief of verbalizing something honest. This action, neuroscientists
confirm, does provide us meaningful relief in moments of tension
B. Avoid -- if we happened to have thought or felt more deeply on a particular
issue than others in the conversation -- either suffering suspicion of inauthenticity
in the minds of our interlocutor(s) or burdening them, at such a moment, with a
fuller expression of ourselves. Email the author for an elaboration of this reality
C. Become more conscious, through the effort required to formulate an honest
IHXEN, of the energy then priming us. This helps us either to identify a recurring
(and therefore somewhat unpresent mood, which is heralded by discovering that
we are having to use the same emotion noun over and over again) or to become
aware of questions requiring additional information that what first came to mind.
This list is expanding as the experiences included in Authentix coaching sessions grow in variety, and
we acquire insight as to both the personal and the collective implications of each of the more than 100
emotion/mood nouns that now make up this list and some means to find our individual ways back to
equanimity. For the present, you may have interest in comments on the following eight nouns in the
1. Emotions of ‘hurt’. This word is used in many ways. Sometimes, it is the present tense of a
verb, as in “You hurt me when you say/do this”. It is also the past tense of the same verb, as in “I hurt
you yesterday” or “She hurt me last week” or “He hurt her when he said that”. Can the word ‘hurt’
also be a noun? If you think it cannot, what word would you substitute for it to signify your sense of
‘an emotional wound so recently experienced as still to feel raw’. It is an emotion many of us
habitually deny, ignore, exaggerate or minimize by switching quickly, and often irrationally, to forms
of usually either jocularity or anger, or else of sarcasm, or other variants of inaccuracy prevalent in our
particular sub-culture. Sometimes we are able to switch our hurt to non-jocular humour – although
we usually can only do so after the it has subsided and only then after much practice!! After alerting
one to the emoto-linguistic deficiencies of colloquial English, an Authentix coach can show you how
sometimes you may be trying to solve problems that, in truth, no longer exist.
2. The emotion/mood of 'ignorance'. Is ignorance a state of being? Obviously it is. Is it, however,
an emotion/mood, or is ignorance devoid of emotional affect? Including ignorance in a list of
emotions may be surprising, but what is clear is that in a world in which learning is a necessity,
curiosity is a valuable, even necessary, instinct/emotion for us all to have on occasion. Yet sometimes
people do appear unwilling to learn. In that sense, ignorance can be conceived as a mood of denial of
curiosity. Be that as it may, many people are unaware of having lost the natural curiosity that, as
children, we all once had. This probably arises in childhood when the adults around us, under stress
themselves, resort to disciplining – before we are ready – the ways in which we try articulating our
needs to express emotions, including that of curiosity, naturally.
3. Emotions/moods of 'anxiety'. Anxiety is a term people in a mutually respectful conversation
can use to distinguish a real fear from a similar feeling or mood that an interlocutor who has more data
in mind with which to assess its reality may be able to help one become clear that the anxiety is
actually an echo of an incompletely processed past trauma. Distinguishing, by empirical discoveries,
anxiety from fear empowers a person to gain release from a mood that is contaminating his or her
worldview. For example, jealousy is probably derived from the more archaic word ‘jeal’. Might that
indicate that jealousy might often be accompanied by the physical feeling of a ‘cold shoulder’, one that
has become ‘stuck’, and thus is technically a mood. A coach or psychotherapist may be able to help a
person consider evidence that will empower him or her to ‘let go’, by degrees, of a mood of jealousy
on the ground that it is ‘unpresent’ (not rational here and now). Some believe that moods of anxiety
are rooted in experiences of shame that one has not yet been able to recall sufficiently clearly to re-
integrate consciously their residual (metabolic corporeal) associations. Neuroscientists like Rick
Hanson believe that anxieties may be defused by associating them with memories of relevant episodes
that turned out happily.
4. Equanimity. Equanimity is the state of being that exists, sometimes precariously, between
pleasant and unpleasant emotions. Equanimity is often believed to be a politically and socially
correct state of being. If we simplify equanimity in that way we become inclined to believe we have
equanimity when, upon reflection, we might find we had been suffering from a mood absent of
curiosity, i.e. ignorance.
5. The emotion of shame. Shame is a state in which one feels one ought to be able to provide
some experience to another or oneself but is failing to do so for irremediable incompetence. If shame
is short-lived, or believed to be relievable by some means, then it can be the vitalizing spur to
becoming willing to experience something one had been fearing for reasons that are likely to be
irrational from the point of view of the species. But if shame persists, i.e. becomes a mood, then it will
be disabling and may even give rise to suicidal intents. Perhaps because shame may evolve into that
possibility, human beings seem instinctively to avoid situations in which we might expose ourselves
to becoming conscious of it. However, if we know that experiencing shame can help us to a vital
insight then we become interested to work with others to recognize it and unpack, at least partially, its
origins. These can sometimes be found as falsities festering as subliminal memory 'echoes' from
extended periods of our needs having gone unheard, often in childhood.
6. Emotions of desire. In this context the word desire is used to describe a range of emotions all
representing a feeling of being incomplete or unfulfilled, especially need, want, interest, and
preference. These emotions distinguish desires by the criteria of urgency (need), necessity (want), and
time horizon (interest), or the absence of these criteria (preference) For a further discussion of these
emotions see this link.
7. Moods of pain. Is pain a mood? It seems to me that the pains we feel are all signals to us of –
depending on their severity – genuine need or want. We can temporarily suppress them by stoicism
or pain killers but, unless we pay sufficient attention to them to take remedially intelligent courses of
action, we are almost certainly, at some moment in the future, going to experience physical, mental, or
emoto-psychological health problems. This may not be obvious to us because the majority, or
'authority', in whatever culture or sub-culture we live will sometimes tell us that we are in some way
absurd or insane if we do not simply ignore them and ‘move on’. The issue is complex to say the least,
but is made more complex by the reality that we often translate pain signals into expressions of
degrees of necessity that are only vaguely comparable, and in this way the meanings we convey by
our habits of use of the words 'need', 'want', 'desire', 'interest', and 'preference' can be wildly confused
. For a discussion of the psycho-linguistic issues requiring to be resolved for accurate communication
to occur in the field of pain, see this link.
8. Moods of resignation. The word ‘resignation’ comes to English from a Franco-Latin derivation.
In its original Latin it referred to a 'signing back on', presumably to an identity. I therefore feel that we
may today use the word ‘resignation’ healthily and productively if one uses it to refer to states of
being in which one finds one is taking a point of view in which one is, regretfully, justifying behaving
in a way one has learned does not quite adequately express one’s full essence. One is expressing
some energy, but only that of an identity one adopted for convenience some time in the past -- an
energy that is only partially one’s full essence. Moods of resignation will necessarily follow
expression of an IAXAP because the adjectival phrase in an IAXAP is in actuality only a temporary
identity of convenience for a self-presentation suited only to a moment that, like all moments in time,
(c) 2007-13 by Angus Cunningham. Requests for permission to quote.
|Chant Construction, a hydro-electric dam-building company with 45 employees, had been owed nearly
$10 million for over three years by a ‘well-heeled’ client, an electricity utility. Not surprisingly Ted, its
chief executive and sole owner and its founder 7 years before, felt furious, and also alarmed because
this unpaid debt was holding up launch of the Employee Share Ownership Plan he had long promised
his employees. Although he had learned to manage these strong emotions extraordinarily well, Ted
knew they were adversely affecting his decision-making. So, when Bill Lewis, a consulting broker,
introduced him in 2006 to the author (whom Bill knew had done good work in similar circumstances
with other clients), Ted was intrigued.
We began with an interview involving Ted's director of human resources, following which I prepared a
substantial 7-section proposal that laid out a trade-off between desired outcome and investment by
the client. Ted and I then reviewed this proposal and refined it into a firm contract. We then started
weekly 2-3 hour coaching sessions, over the course of which Ted described the circumstances he faced
and I encouraged him, by modelling for him the "I have X emotion now” (IHXEN, acronym pronounced
'Eye-Zen' for convenience) form of I-statement, to make his descriptions as accurate as possible and
IHXEN is a very rarely used form of I-statement but, because it is also the focus of this narrative,
many readers will want to know at least some of the theory supporting the use of IHXENs rather than
the more usual form of I-statement in English, which is the "I am 'X adjectival phrase'" (IAXAP) form.
I have therefore provided in the narrative following the briefest possible summary of the theory that
supports IHXEN use in problem-solving conversations, and also provided a link to a psycho-linguistic
comparison of the IHXEN and IAXAP forms. Further discussion of the IHXEN form is available in the
menu item "Overview of Eye-Zen English", which appears at the end of the narrative. Also, because
uses of the word 'equanimity' are often vague, readers will want, before continuing to read this
narrative of a process facilitated by IHXENs that culminates in shared equanimity, first to study a link
that describes in practical detail how I use this word. (The link is short and has a return to this page
near its end).
Ted, an engineer by profession, had held, before founding Chant, a very senior executive position for a
large and very well-known construction firm. After observing my modelling of the shift from IAXAP to
IHXEN forms of I-statement, Ted quickly appreciated its advantages in avoiding the trap into which
IAXAPs so often lure us unwittingly -- namely blaming people, whether self or others, unnecessarily.
Together, whenever either of us experienced a moment of doubt as to the verity of what either of us
was saying, we practised IHXEN exchanges in coaching sessions of two to three hours every week for
a few months. This practice assisted us to make our relationship a progressively more deeply trusting
one and to surface many intuitions and memories that, in conventional problem-solving conversation,
would very often have been considered either irrelevant or inappropriate to mention. We then drew
from these exchanges conclusions we anticipated would be of relevance to collecting the outstanding
debt – testing them for accuracy as best we could. Our testing was by reference either to whatever
objective data was available to us or to assumptions with which we both felt very comfortable -- after
first expressing IHXENs to label our emotions about them and then exploring the feelings we each had
related thereto). This process empowered us, together, to refine our conclusions into what seemed to
both of us to be reliable insight relative to finding a solution into the enterprise survival problem that
the overdue receivable constituted for Chant. Ted – as the testimonial at the end of this page
confirms – found these sessions cleared and grounded his thinking.
As our ease with the practice of IHXEN exchanges grew, Ted and I were able to focus our attentions
on drafting and refining an email aimed at interesting the utility's president in meeting Ted; and Ted
soon felt enough confidence in this process to instruct the lawyer with whom he was working on the
legal side of the issues not to initiate any further activity on the utility file – an action we both felt
would go some way toward lessening the tensions that naturally lay between Chant and its debtor. At
the same time, he acquired enough trust in me to ask that I work with his corporate staff to see if we
could feel comfortable proposing his Employee Share Ownership Plan (ESOP) in advance of the next
annual general meeting, which was scheduled a couple of months ahead.
The ESOP was a major part of Ted’s founding vision for the company. It was, in fact, a project on
which he and his senior staff had been working with an ESOP consultant for two years. But, pending a
satisfactory resolution of the outstanding utility receivable, no one had felt comfortable proposing to
Chant employees at large the specifics of what had earlier been agreed by the ESOP consultant to be
reasonable ESOP terms. Indeed, at the time of my engagement, only Ted was able to retain any hope
that the utility receivable issue would ever actually be satisfactorily resolved.
In these challenging circumstances Ted and I agreed that the existing ESOP offering terms would be
more attractive to employees if the offering document were to include what would amount to a social
contract drawing employees and their leaders more closely into explicitly shared aspirations. I
visualized such a contract as constituting a spirit of commitment by all levels to personal-professional
growth via dedication to a desirable set of corporate value disciplines. I suggested that honesty be an
example of such a value discipline -- defining it, as Authentix Coaches had already defined it for clients
in prior coaching engagements, as:
Honesty: The discipline of avoiding either inaccuracy or deception and of being reciprocally
open about intents and evolving intentions.
Authentix Coaches had developed and practised over many years the Authentix list of eight definitions
for such personal-professional values. We viewed these definitions as a focus for developing
relationship skills toward which Authentix clients and their coaches, both, could aspire in our
engagements. Having worked with this list for several years I anticipated that, by sharing them with
the senior group, Chant would be able to develop from this list as a base a practical form for the
corporate social contract he and I were envisioning. We both saw such a contract as offering a
blueprint for increasing the level of trust each Chant person would feel able, safely, to repose in the
authenticity and empathy of other Chant people. I therefore proposed inserting a preface to the
existing ESOP draft – one that would explicitly commit Chant people to adopting defined value
disciplines as an aspiration toward which all would work in his or her own way. I also suggested we
start with the eight value-discipline definitions adopted in Authentix coaching engagements.
Feedback on this idea from the senior group resulted in their approval of all eight of the Authentix
definitions; and a lively debate – one facilitated by IHXENs – then ensued concerning other value
disciplines that the team collectively felt were necessary for Chant’s particular 'economic niche'. These
debates ended with a consensus around a total of 15 values – values we expected could be elaborated
into a 'ladder' of disciplines to which Chant people, both junior and senior, would all want to aspire.
We visualized the ladder becoming a part of Chant's employee performance review process.
The ESOP team then asked me to thread the descriptions of the new value disciplines into a preface to
their ESOP Document of Offer to Employees. When I had done this to their satisfaction, Ted added to
the credibility of the new value disciplines by having their descriptions framed and displayed
prominently in Chant's offices. The ESOP team then went ahead with the ESOP launch. The results?
First, everyone involved in these discussions felt a surge of confidence that coherence
between Ted and his prospective employee shareholders would more easily be found in the
ongoing problem-solving activities of the company; and second, the ESOP launch (a couple of
months later) attracted – without change to any of its pre-existing commercial terms – 'buy-
ins' by 90% of its permanent employees. (By way of comparison, 90% is about three times
the average for ESOP launches in the United States).
Shortly thereafter, Ted's and my IHXEN-facilitated sessions culminated in our production of a draft for
the email to the utility president. But before sending it, Ted and I wanted to be very sure that both
his and my states of being in relation to sending the email were, given the email’s significance for Chant’
s survival, truly equanimous. This requirement was not easy to satisfy because neither of us was
entirely sure how he could distinguish genuine equanimity from states of being close to it. We knew
that equanimity lay somewhere between pleasant and unpleasant emotions yet was not what one
might call 'numbed-out indifference' nor what one might call 'carefully controlled bravado'; and from
our practice of IHXEN exchanges we had both become minutely aware of our emotions in relation to
each significant part of our draft. (A list of emotion nouns is available in the material provided at the
foot of this page). Working in this way, our practice of IHXEN exchanges eventually led us both to
feeling sure that each of us had, in relation to the specific of sending the draft, a state of being close
to genuine equanimity -- rather than merely controlled indifference or bravado.
How this happened is worth noting carefully. The day before Ted sent the email, I told him that I felt
equanimous about him sending it, and asked him what emotion he had about doing so. He replied: "I
too feel I have equanimity" (phrasing only from my memory). I then suggested he might not have
equanimity after sleeping on it, in which case he might want again to change it. So we parted with the
unanimity that he would sleep on it, and that, if he had anything but equanimity in the morning in
relation to sending the draft he would make the change he then believed was necessary and, if he then
felt the slightest doubt about sending the result, he would call me and we would again discuss it. A
few days later I learned he had sent the draft we had agreed on the previous day, and that the utility
president had replied by an email requesting that he visit Ted!
The entire process took us almost six months. But, to our delight, the utility president's response
began with a starting settlement offer of $3 million. This meant that Chant could safely assume that
most of the remaining $7 million would soon be settled reasonably amicably. This response naturally
relieved a lot of anxiety on the part not only of Ted, who was then able to pass the issue over to his
lawyer, but also of Chant's employees, and of me also.
Ted had turned the corner for Chant Construction from what might be described as gamely brave but
dudgeonly frustration at the top and anxiety below to fruitful negotiation and confidence in future
Team Chant coherence throughout the organization. Our practice, at moments of particular
difficulty in decision-making, of the IHXEN form of I-statement, which is at the root of what is
now called the 'Eye-Zen English' family of Rational Emoto-Linguistics, had, together with our
personal experience in a shared discovery of the state of being that the word 'equanimity'
symbolizes, had facilitated discovery of 'the crucial difference'. Together, we had empowered
Ted to transform the energy of his anger and alarm – at the utility's neglect of the plight in which its
executives had left his company – into rationally purposeful and, in the event, very productive energy
on a wide but coherent 'front'.
This has been a narrative by the coach in this engagement. But what does the client, Ted Chant, have
to say about the coaching service he had hired? Shortly before he learned of the success of the email
he had sent to the CEO of his delinquent customer, the electric utility, this was Ted's written testimony:
"Combining corporate productivity with personal well-being has always been more art than science, and hence a
seemingly inaccessible goal to many. We began our quest for work nirvana 7 years ago knowing that an Employee
Share Ownership Plan (ESOP) would be a part of it. Having helped my corporate team reach and communicate
the balance among interests that a successful ESOP requires, Authentix Coaches’ Angus Cunningham is now
helping us realize larger aims through the growing of an organically constructive culture, in which the values we
bring from our home, workplace and marketplace experiences are refined into an equitable, coherent and vital
whole. Having a 2-hour coaching session each week with Angus is to find one turning the relentless pressure of
today’s working world into clarifying insights, intriguing intuitions, and focused initiatives in which one feels a
welcome degree of inner confidence, and often renewed energy. Each session enables me to reframe my sense of
what is occurring in my world with such accuracy that my setting of priorities and decision-making is not only
making my own life, and those of my family members, less workaholic, but also beginning to make the working lives
of all our employees more productive and enjoyable. Having Angus coach us through the many transitions we
know we now both must and want to make is giving us, when the going gets tough, confidence that we “have it in
ourselves” to realize shockingly excellent success!" – Ted Chant, February, 2007
Practice of the IHXEN form of I-statement was not on its own responsible for this result – one all the
more astonishing because it was quite unexpected by virtually all involved. The people who used this
practice also contributed many specialty skills of their own to produce the engagement’s success.
What practice of the IHXEN form had contributed was to help the people who learned to use it become
consciously, not just viscerally, aware of the emotions that from time to time would otherwise – had
they not practiced IHXEN exchanges – have diverted them from focusing on accurate problem-solving.
By acquiring proficiency in exchanging IHXENs, Ted and his senior team were able to transform the
energy of their emotions into trustingly connected and productively purposeful problem-solving.